Mothers not lovers

12:0AM, Dec 2nd 2011

New study finds new mums worry their husbands no longer find them attractive.

Image: Thinkstock

It may be what many women want but according to a new survey, becoming a new mum is having an alarming effect on their self esteem, as one third of the women surveyed thought that their partners think of them only as 'mothers', not as 'lovers'.

The British survey conducted by UK website Netmums, questioned 3600 mothers between 18 and 60, and found that only 2 percent said that their partner would think of them as 'sensual' after they gave birth. 12 percent thought they would be thought of as 'feminine' and 69 percent believed that their partner considered them 'tired all the time'.

View related gallery: Real mother's post-baby bodies

Of course with sleepless nights, raging hormones and a new baby to think of it is natural that a mother feels tired. But if what these mothers believe their spouses think of them was true, there would be far more relationships in crisis than we are currently experiencing.

Of course this is not the case, as many studies have shown that most couples actually view their other halves as being far better looking than they really are, and in fact men find they have stronger feelings towards to the mother of their children.

A poll taken by LG Life's good revealed yesterday that what makes 61 percent of Australian's happy is spending time with their families, and that having a solid relationships topped all other aspects of what makes both men and women happy.

However the UK survey does highlight that it is not just women's perceptions of their post-baby body, that should be addressed but changing the thoughts of how womenthinktheir partners feel about them to help boost their confidence.

View related gallery: How to re-gain body confidence

Siobhan Freegard, co-founder of Netmums, told theDaily Mail, "Mum and woman shouldn't exist separately — every mum is both and they should be celebrated and nurtured."

Ms Freegard has since instigated a campaign calling for mums to stop comparing themselves to others, and think better about themselves.

Possibly the campaign should include a call for alldadsto be more attentive and understanding of a new mummy after the changes pregnancy has made to her body.

View related gallery: Sex after baby

If Australians believe what makes us happy is a solid relationship, and striking the balance between lifestyle and health, the answer could be as simple as: get fit, book a baby sitter, get a make-over and stop comparing. However the key is more likely to be, good communication with your partner, and being able to talk about sex openly.

If you are having difficulties communicating with your partner, contact your health professional or Relationships Australia.

Do you have any tips for new (and old) mums out there who have lost their confidence? Please enter your thoughts below.

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